I'm a special person ;-) In a way I'm like a joke or some sort of physical contradiction.

It took a very long time for me to realize that comparing myself to others makes no sense. No matter how others may be, it really doesn't have anything to do with how I am. Let me elaborate. For instance in high school a lot of kids had a great time. They might have been popular and partied and dated a lot, etc... Well for me high school was probably the worst time in my entire life. Looking back that was kind of my fault; with what I know now, I could totally own that place. But at the time I resented how for some people it was so easy to have all these good things whereas I did not.

Similarly, now I should not worry about other people too much. In college a lot of people are just easy going and have lots of fun. I'm not really like that. There are long tracks of time where I'm not so happy punctuated by some really good times. Just because things don't come so easily for me compared to some others doesn't matter in the slightest. Not only is it ridiculous for me to overlook at that I do have, I should not overlook how I have the power to change my circumstances. Even if it is difficult for me I should just worry about me. The only person I'm "competing" with is myself. 

This was sort of a long rant that I'm not sure really captures how I feel. Basically I have to not be concerned with how my life is compared to others. If I want to worry about something it should be making things better and being happy. Yeah.